What on earth is SELF-SOOTHING?
Well, I define it as the art of RELAXING. It is finding comfort and relief amidst all of the chaos and clutter. You know, that very difficult thing to do when you are in the lowest of your lows.
Self-soothing is an essential skill to master if we want to develop a more positive version of ourselves.So, how do we exactly soothe ourselves?
It is not rocket-science. Let me give you some tips on how to self-soothe.
1. MAKE PEACE WITH WHERE YOU ARE.
Okay. Before you can soothe yourself, the first thing to do is accept the situation that you are in. Make peace with where you are right now.
Say, you lost your job. Okay. You found out you are sick. Okay. Things aren't going well for you. Okay. You are deep in debt. Okay. You got cheated on. Okay. You gained 10 more pounds. Okay.
It's not the end of the world.
I know, I know. It is easier said than done. But you have to understand that life is always evolving. Whatever deep shiznit you are in right now is not going to last. It will pass. Remember the last time you felt that way? You survived that pretty alright, didn't you?
The only way to get past that is to ACCEPT IT. Make peace with it. Embrace it. From making peace with where you are, you can get to where you want to be.
2. REACH FOR A BETTER FEELING THOUGHT FROM WHERE YOU ARE.
Whenever you feel a negative emotion, just reach for a better feeling thought from where you are. You can pivot your emotions and let it guide you to feeling better.
I'm not even saying jump all the way to happiness or bliss. It might be too big of a jump. Many people make the mistake of pushing themselves to feel happiness from absolute despair. Oftentimes, they don't make it or they end up exhausted from all the effort because it is too big of a jump. Just start from where you are, and work your way up the emotional scale.
If you are feeling FEAR, it sure is better to find a feeling thought towards WORRY. But HOPEFULNESS feels better than WORRY. And POSITIVE EXPECTATION feels a little better than HOPEFULNESS. And then you can turn POSITIVE EXPECTATION to PASSION, then PASSION to HAPPINESS, and HAPPINESS to APPRECIATION.
You see how we didn't jump from FEAR all the way to HAPPINESS? You can't get there from there. You have to work your way up, find a better feeling thought as you move up the emotional ladder.
3. GIVE YOURSELF POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
Now, this is a very common tip on making yourself feel better.
But the mistake that we often make is to give ourselves affirmations that don't really resonate. We tend to give ourselves affirmations that are far-fetched, far from what we are currently feeling.
In order for our positive affirmations to lift us up, we have to be along the vibrational or emotional vicinity of it.
For example, I woke up this morning feeling insecure. I would rampage negatively by saying:
"I don't feel pretty. I don't think I'm pretty enough. I think my ideal weight is far from this. I need to lose a lot of weight. I don't feel worthy. I'm not a head turner. I think only fools would take a second look at me."
... and then you continue to wallow in feelings of insecurity the whole day and wonder why nobody is attracted to you. OF COURSE! You don't even like you.
So, let's turn that into positive affirmations that resonate. I wouldn't say, "I'm pretty." or "I'm super duper sexy". These are affirmations that are on the far end of the stick.
How about saying:
"I'm not the ugliest person in the world" -- I'm kidding, but pretty accurate, right?
or try,
"The world is full of beautiful people and I'm happy to be one with them in my own way. I enjoy knowing that I can also be as pretty as I'd wish to be. I love knowing that I have the means to take care of my body. I enjoy looking out for myself. I love showering myself with the love that I need. I appreciate the way my body takes care of me. I am appreciative of the billions of cells that are working overtime just to take care of me. I know that I can be thinner, or prettier, or more fashionable if I want to. I'm not there yet, but it's alright. In the meantime, let me just discover the many ways I can get there and I will have fun with it."
Now, doesn't that feel a little better?
4. DO SOMETHING FUN. OR JUST STOP DOING ANYTHING.
After you have made peace with where you are, reached for a better feeling thought, and showered yourself with positive affirmations, the next thing you can do is HAVE FUN.
Distract yourself by doing something fun. You don't need to spend a lot to do so.
- Watch a funny sitcom (I recommend UNDATEABLE --seriously my guilty pleasure).
- Go out and get sunshine.
- Listen to a happy song that you can sing along with.
- Watch funny cat videos on Youtube.
- Call a friend you haven't talked to in a while (but don't talk about your problem coz that'll suck)
- Eat good food, savor the deliciousness of it.
- Take a long, nice bath.
- Go out with your friends.
- Have a "pamper yourself" day.
- Hit the gym and kill your workout!
- Laugh. Laugh. Laugh.
If it's too dragging for you to have fun (because for some reason, you enjoy the drama of not feeling good), then just sit still and do nothing.
Just breathe. In and out. Long breaths. Meditate. Pray.
No whining, no whimpering, just stillness and quietness. Try it for 15 minutes and go to sleep if you can.
It's better to do nothing than add to the negative emotions that you are feeling. DON'T MAKE MONUMENTS OF THE BAD THINGS INN YOUR LIFE. Just nod at them and get going.
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NOW, these are a few ways on how you can soothe yourself when you feel like sulking into your negative emotions.
LIFE IS FUN. LIFE IS DELICIOUS.
Challenges are and will always be there. But doesn't that add to the fun of life?
Always be affirmed that life works out. LIFE ALWAYS WORKS OUT FOR YOU. Why would you wanna believe otherwise? :)
(inspired by teachings of AH)
photo source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/192810427768411666/
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